The stages that make us

Science proves that we are imprinted between the ages of 0 – 7.  When you’re born you are born as an empty or clean slate.  That empty slate gets written on.  It becomes coded.  By who?  The influential adults in our life.  Particularly, our parents, grandparents, close relatives (adults), and any other significant adult role players in our life.  They teach us what’s important in every area of life.  Be it finances, business, love, relationships, family, we have learned it from them.

During the imprinting, we are downloaded with information that was put forth by those adults just mentioned.  It’s like being born with an empty MP3 player and having the adults in our lives put all of their favorite songs on it.  Whether we like “country music” or “rap music” or not, doesn’t matter.  That’s the music that is filling up the MP3 player.  After we’re imprinted we enter a new phase called “modeling”.

Modeling occurs between the ages of 8 -13.  During this time period we then deploy every program that was written within us and we practice running the program.  We see it all the time. Either in our own children or children around us.  The little boy who walks like his daddy.  The little girl who mimics putting on makeup and walking in heels like her mommy.  These are examples of modeling.

These 8 – 13 year old “models” are practicing the programming in their house. They bounce it off the computer programmer, aka their parents or other adult influences in their life.  These models want to make sure they’re doing it just like the adults are doing it to make sure it’s right.  At 13 years old the child moves into the next phase of the programming called “socialization.”

Take it and make it your own

Between 13 – 21 the adolescent takes the computer programming and modelling practice and deploys it in their own world. Their world consists of junior high, high school and even early adulthood. This is known as their socialization phase.  This is where they don’t “need” the significant adults in their lives anymore.  I jokingly liken it to the teenagers having a lobotomy since they don’t need their parents anymore.  Not to worry, parents, because at 21 years old these same young adults have their frontal lobes put back in. They are rolling into the phase known as “business personae”.  This business personae phase is where they hone in on their professional etiquette and their professional personality.

People never realize they are running a program they didn’t install.  Look back at the area in your life where you thrive.  You will undoubtedly identify easily who thrived in that area.  Likewise, you can also look back in your life at the area that isn’t where you want it to be. There, you will likely see who imprinted you as a child.


In coaching my clients for success, one of the things I teach is to reprogram the mindset.  We need to delete the old “country” or “rap” songs to put in some of our favorites that get us moving and grooving through our day.  If we don’t like the motivation strategy given to us, we need to replace the strategy with one that works.  That means deleting the old and installing the new.

It’s time to take a look at the MP3 in your life.  Is yours full 100% with your favorite songs?  Songs that serve you? Do they pump you up and motivate or slow you down to a good old-fashioned waltz?  If you are not listening to your own music, then it’s time to download your favorite tunes.